Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Horrors of an Unread Blog

Back in August 2002 I read a newspaper article about a conference President Bush was holding to discuss the "alarming increase in child abductions". The article went on to state that "while there actually has not been an increase in child abductions, the president felt it was time to make America safe for our children." Very timely this close to elections. My wife and I had a good laugh.

I’m never sure where one of these posts is heading when I start writing it. This one is no different.

About a year before the Bush article, I found the following very funny essay by Robert Sarkissian.

"The problem of global worming, the alarming increase in the number of worms in the world, is now being discussed in academic circles as the next great mess we might be heading into. Professors from several ivy league schools will be gathering in San Francisco next week to discuss how this will affect people who might be affected by its effects. Professor Eckhart Fingbinger is heading the group, and has described this problem as "an unparalleled potential catastrophe which is worse than anything we might have seen if it were paralleled" and recommends "the formation of a presidential task force to recognize that this is a problem that is an unparalleled potential catastrophe which needs a presidential task force to recognize that this is a problem which is worse than anything we might have seen if it were paralleled." Scientists from several countries will be attending the event and will show data that indicates that this might be the next great mess we might be heading into and to show the effects this might have on people who might be affected. The president said in a press conference yesterday that he will form a task force to recognize the problem which might affect people according to data that will be shown by scientists from several countries next week indicating that this might be a great mess that we might be heading into."

Question: Where do we go from here? Do I give my opinions about Global Warming? A lot of the arguments in favor of Global Warming are tautologies. Do I mention Quackery and Doublespeak? Gibberish, Jargon, and Gobbledygook? The problem is that once you know about these things, you’ll suddenly see them everywhere you look! Ignorance can be blissful. Do I put in some George Bushisms? Almost every time he opens his mouth something amazing comes out. Do I write about journalism? So much of what we read in the “media” is pure, unadulterated BS. Do I discuss fuzzy logic? Newspeak? Propaganda versus Critical Thinking? There is a lot of very Creative Thinking going on out there. Do I mention how ludicrous the American presence in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other places seems to me? And why? That would not be Politically Correct, so I’ll also save it for a future post. Do I give the URLs of Snopes and other web sites where you can check the validity of the BS your friends and co-workers send to your email inbox – before you mindlessly send it to everyone you know? So many possible directions to take and so little time! The choices are endless.

Answer: None of the above. I’ll admit I got off to a slow start, with only six posts in three years, but I’ve got a pretty good head of steam up now. Where are the comments? Aren’t people supposed to be telling me I’m full of hot air – not steam? Aren’t people supposed to be leaving angry comments – or comments that reflect their cluelessness?

I didn’t know it would be so very lonely out here in the blogosphere.


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